Killer Whale Attacks!

I was just down at the pantry at work, getting my morning Coke, and on the TV was CNN spending about five minutes on yesterday’s old news of a killer whale attacking its trainer during a show at Sea World in California. Does this warrant so much coverage? The guy didn’t even croak. Another distraction/head game the cryptocracy is pulling, trying to get us not to think about really important things? Killer Whales, The New Sting Rays! (and sting rays were the new alligators, which in turn were the new sharks). As James Shelby Downard would say, ‘It’s an aaah-cult charade!”

Cornwall Can Be a Strange Place

Sally described what they had seen: “It was like a big owl with pointed ears, as big as a man. The eyes were red and glowing. At first, I thought that it was someone dressed up, playing a joke, trying to scare us. I laughed at it, we both did, then it went up in the air and we both screamed. When it went up you could see its feet were like pincers”

For more on the Owlman of Cornwall, click here.

Top 10 Reasons for Cryptozoology Hoaxes

Money, notoriety, and general knuckleheadedness, obviously. Full list is here at Cryptomundo.

The Elemental of 171 West Buchanan Street

It’s been hard for the landlord to keep tenants at 171. Sure, the building was drafty, and in the worst condition of any building on the street. But the neighbors said that tenants just didn’t stay on my side of the building for more than a few months, and those who had were unsavory. Other than a tenant who had stayed for 12 years–until he passed away last October–I spent most of the time completely alone in the two-family house that was subdivided into four apartments.

In the evenings, I often felt that someone was watching me. With that feeling, I would look out the windows at my backyard. But soon that stopped. Because I “saw” something, more in my mind’s eye than anything, but unlike many visions, turning my mind from it would not make it go away. It had an old man’s head and body, white and crinkly, with an exceptionally long nose and face, no hair on the top of his head, and long white hair in the back. He would traipse about, back and forth on white, goat-like legs in my backyard, at an inhuman speed, almost like a speeded up film.

After a moment of “watching” this, he would turn his attention toward me, and it felt like his face, crinkly, white, with cancerous-looking growths all over it, was inches from mine, and his eyes, which I could now see, were milky-white of a blind man and peering into my soul.

I tacked a picture of the Eye of Horus to my back door, and purified my home and my yard with salt. I avoided looking out the back windows at night, but I knew those were only temporary fixes. Before I moved out, I did “see” him again. And I was glad to be gone.

Fearing the Chupacabra

I am afraid of this thing that stalks in the night, with gray skin, big black eyes, porcupine spines and the face of the devil. I am afraid the chupacabra will drain the blood of my goat…ok, my cat.

I did have goats growing up in Massachusetts. I think at its height, the Weeping Eye homestead had 20 grown goats and a buck. Goats are not as big as cattle, and a lot less scary too, especially without their horns. At about half the size of a cow, standing and eating all day, these things are just the right meal for any hungry animal. I think my cat–the big one–could kill one if he were hungry enough.

In my google-research frenzy, I found a number of sites on the chupacabra–and they all said the same thing, except that one astute Bible-lover noticed that they look a lot like gargoyles, and another noted that this anomalous biological entity could come from a UFO or a possibly a test-tube experiment gone awry. As a doubter who still double-takes at strange sounds in the night, I have to say that the pteradactyl theory doesn’t hold a lot of water with me, although the art is nice.

I was starting to lose hope that what I feared in the darkness on Staten Island (or any darkness, wherever) might be a real chupacabra, when I found a personal account along with a timeline of the news stories.

Perhaps I will keep my cats indoors at night.

Wicca or Wicked

I am Wiccan. I am a Witch. I have been called plenty of other things that rhyme with that. But what this actually means is that I celebrate String Theory in daily life and actuality. I celebrate the elements, the particles and the larger pieces of those such as earth, air, fire and water. I celebrate the world and those who are in it. Ironically, what it all comes down to is “Love One Another”. Yet, this seems difficult for some to understand out of the Bible Box. Please read on…

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By Charles C. Haynes
First Amendment Center
http://www.northcountrygazette.org/articles/062206Wiccans.html

The current flap involving Wiccans in the military is a conflict that should never have happened. But years of foot-dragging by the Department of Veterans Affairs has turned an easy case into a major controversy complete with charges of discrimination and threats of lawsuits.

All the VA need do is announce that the pentacle – a five-pointed star that symbolizes the Wiccan faith – has been added to the list of 38 “emblems of belief” approved for placement on government headstones and memorials. No big deal, end of story.

Instead, the VA keeps saying that it is “reviewing the process” – and will make a decision at some indeterminate time in the future.

Roberta Stewart has been hearing this bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo for the past eight months. She just wants to honor her husband, Patrick, a member of the Nevada National Guard killed in combat last September in Afghanistan. Sgt. Stewart, who was posthumously awarded the Bronze Star and Purple Heart, among other honors, was a Wiccan.

But Stewart’s request to have a pentacle engraved on her husband’s memorial plaque has been repeatedly denied pending review of the VA policy. His space on the Northern Nevada Veterans Wall remains blank.

Eventually, the VA will have no choice but to allow the pentacle. Why? Start with the fact that Nevada politicians from both parties as well as advocacy groups from the left and right are demanding the change.

Then there is the small matter of the First Amendment: It’s clearly unconstitutional for the government to deny the Wiccan symbol while permitting symbols of many other religions.

If approval of the pentacle is inevitable, why is the VA taking so long to make a decision?

For Roberta Stewart it has been a long and frustrating eight months. But other Wiccans have been pushing for VA recognition of the pentacle for more than nine years. (According to the Department of Defense, some 1,900 active-duty service members identify themselves as Wiccans.)

At first blush, the years of VA stonewalling doesn’t make sense. A glance at the 38 approved emblems suggests that any religion can make the list. In addition to all of the world’s major faiths, a number of small, obscure sects are represented, such as Eckankar (a New Age group that espouses out-of-body travel). Even the atheists have a symbol. If the VA is applying some kind of religious test to keep out the Wiccans, it’s hard to fathom what it might be.

Before last fall, the VA blamed the rules. Applicants had to provide documentation from a central authority certifying a symbol as representative of that religion. Since Wiccans have no recognized head or hierarchy, their applications were rejected. Rules are rules.

Bipartisan outrage over Sgt. Stewart’s case inspired a new set of rules. Now applicants are required to provide historic background and documentation of use to get a symbol approved. Roberta Stewart has filled out all of the forms – but she’s still waiting.

So what’s the problem? The VA isn’t talking. But the delay may have to do with the fact that Roberta Stewart went public. Putting atheists on the list when no one is paying attention is one thing, but announcing recognition of the Wiccan pentacle in the glare of the media spotlight is another.

Few people have even heard of Eckankar, but almost everyone has an opinion about Wiccans. Unfortunately, most of what people think they know about Wicca is false. Although Wiccans have nothing to do with black magic or satanic worship (Wicca is a nature-based religion centered on a belief that the divine permeates all life), try explaining that to a misinformed public.

The VA is probably remembering the last time Wiccans in the military made headlines. About six years ago, news reports of Wiccan ceremonies at Fort Hood and other bases provoked some conservative Christian groups to call on Christians not to enlist or re-enlist in the Army.

Under the First Amendment, the Army had no choice then, just as the VA has no choice now, but to accommodate Wiccans in the same way it accommodates other religious groups. But any “acceptance” of witches – who have long been demonized in Christian history – is certain to stir up trouble for the military.

It’s also possible that VA lawyers are beginning to realize that any guidelines for government-sanctioned “emblems of belief,” however carefully crafted, are unworkable. In a nation where people are completely free to choose in matters of faith, the government should stop trying to figure out which symbols are “acceptable” and instead allow each family to choose whatever symbol best represents their convictions.

In other words, cut through all of the bureaucratic red tape and jettison the “emblems of belief” list entirely.

Meanwhile, however, the VA should act immediately to honor Roberta Stewart’s request and fill in the blank space reserved for Sgt. Stewart. After all, if we can’t live up to religious freedom at home, we have no business asking soldiers to die for religious freedom abroad. 6-22-06

Charles C. Haynes is senior scholar at the First Amendment Center, 1101 Wilson Blvd., Arlington, Va. 22209. Web: www.firstamendmentcenter.org. E-mail chaynes@freedomforum.org

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© 2006 North Country Gazette

Cryptozoology Art Show

“Under the umbrella of cryptozoology (CZ) this project, including a symposium, exhibition, book, and film series explores a pursuit in which the disciplines of science and art share a mutual focal point: a desperately desired visual encounter. By virtue of its collective scientific aims, CZ is forced to engage in subjective longing and constructions as a primary tool toward discovery, comprehension, and legitimization.” Site is here.

Are We Dead Yet?

Go to this website and get your death prediction. Use the first one it gives you, add your name to the top of the list and repost!

push this to push up daisies

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Cirese: At age 76, you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle. *I am sincerely thankful this was NOT a photograph of a tricycle*  

Suki: At 67, I choke on a piece of steak. How pedestrian. Better than ending up in depends at age 98, though.

Johnny: Awww man, ate age 52 I get killed in a train wreck…

Biblioscopes: Advice for All Sun Signs June 3 thru 9

Biblioscopes are the union of bibliomancy, divination through opening books to random pages and pondering the meaning of the phrases therein, and horoscopes, in that each sign does share certain commonalities, including planetary transits. Each Saturday I ask the Universe to lead my hands in opening the book to the right page for a week’s worth of good advice for each sun sign.
This week’s featured book is If I Knew Then…by Amy Fisher. Remember Amy Fischer, the “Long Island Lolita” who shot her boyfriend’s wife in the head? This is her self-published masterpiece.

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

And guards would actually go tell their friends, “I had sex with Amy Fischer.” Even guards who never touched me would brag about having sex with me.
Do not name drop for any reason this week, and be distrustful of the name-dropping cads around you. Watch and wait to find the truth.

Taurus (April 21- May 20)

I believed that, since I was vowing to be a great, perfect person, all my problems would disappear.
But now you know better, right? You know that being ethical often creates problems–but let’s face it–your problems are better than the lying, cheating, stealing gun=toting polygamist’s.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

We all come to a moment in life when one action is pivotal, when one decision becomes a catalyst that takes away years of future decisions.
Yes, we all do. Some decisions include joining the military, getting married, or whether or not to use condoms. But before you take action with weaponry, an illegal or ill=thought out plan, or anything involving “easy love” or “easy money”, seek counseling. Write a letter to Dear Abby or Dan Savage.

Cancer (June 21-July 20)

There were people in prison with me who knew what the officers were doing, and they would save portions of their meals to give me some decent food.
You will find kindness in others this week, so take off some of that armor and accept it, graciously. Then turn around and help someone else.

Leo (July 21-Aug. 20)

“You’re going to have to grin and bear it another two years till the parole board meets.” I had no choice.
Do they grin in prison? Your project will be on hold, after being on hold. Write a book and self-publish it. By the time you’re done, you will be able to go back to whatever you were so hot on in the first place.

Virgo (Aug. 21-Sept. 20)

I was a nice upper-class suburban girl who was seduced by these images, and look where it–along with other factors–took me.
Do me a favor, and don’t blame your life on television. You would do yourself a favor this week by not blaming anything on anyone, and cleaning any messes you’ve made on your own, one shovel of shit at a time./p>

Libra (Sept. 21-Oct. 20)

Sometimes I think my luck can’t get any worse, but then something good will happen which makes me think of life as one big roller coaster.
Run over by the wheel of fortune? If you stick to the tire, you’ll go around and be on top again this week.

Scorpio (Oct. 21-Nov. 20)

I was told I am her idol. She says she wants to be like me when she grows up, and I think, “That poor kid, she doesn’t know.”
This happens to all adults, because children don’t see our lives as full. Be strong and keep your life to yourself to be as good as others see you.

Sagittarius (Nov. 21-Dec.20)

I didn’t even understand I could go to jail. I just didn’t want to get punished and have my privileges taken away. Is that unbelievable? I was thinking, “They’re going to take away my car and ground me.”
Consequences happen to everyone: black kids in the Bronx, white girls in the suburbs, granny bankrobbers in Weehawken. Make careful decisions. you are not immune.

Capricorn (Dec. 21-Jan. 20)

At least I was lucky that the women weren’t raping me in prison, because that happened to a lot of other people.
I’m glad they didn’t, but if they had, Ms. Amy would’ve sold a lot more books. Count your small blessings this week, Capricorn, but consider fibbing if it will add to your bankroll.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb 20)

To transfer me from Nassau County Jail to Bedford Hills Correctional Facility, the first thing they did was handcuff me and attach a chain to the handcuffs and wrap it three times around my waist.
Overkill of bureaucratic constraints: you’ll find yourself hogtied with red tape. Unfortunately, it’s the way they do things these days.

Pisces (Feb.21-Mar. 20)

All these experiences were answers to the question I would be asking myself in prison: Why?
The answers to your deepest questions are all around you. Open your eyes and ears with the intent to truly see.
Notes: This was really hard, just because it’s hard not to make fun of poor Amy.

*The dates given to each sun sign are approximate–the dates of each sun sign change annually with the date of the vernal equinox. If you were born between the 18th and 24th of any month, you should get a free astrology report from www.astrology.com or www.geocosmic.org just so you can answer properly when someone asks, “What’s your sign?”

Biblioscopes: Advice for All Sun Signs May 27 to June 3rd

Biblioscopes are the union of bibliomancy, divination through opening books to random pages and pondering the meaning of the phrases therein, and horoscopes, in that each sign does share certain commonalities, including planetary transits. Each Saturday I ask the Universe to lead my hands in opening the book to the right page for a week’s worth of good advice for each sun sign.
This week’s featured book is:“The Bitten” by L.A. Banks

I love books about female vampires. They are my favorite porn. Except for Anne Rice who ruins the porn by adding kiddie vamps to it. Yick.

Aries (March 21 – April 20)

She backed up to the sink, baiting him with her eyes. “Turn on the tap,” she ordered. Her voice was low and husky. Lethal.
He nodded and it ran blood.

Do as you are told this week. It will get you what you really want right away.

Taurus (April 21- May 20)

To that end, bring positive energy into your consciousness and may it also provide you with comfort, abundance, inspiration, and renewed purpose.
So, like, meditate, do your affirmations, read Shakti Gawain’s book on visualization. Be, like, positive, ‘k? Yeah, I know it sounds all California New Agey, but it really does work.

Gemini (May 21 -June 20)

He opened his eyes and stared at the group. “I know everything that has hapened in every language on the four continents she gave me, plus the one I had at throne level… back to the time before kings…”This week, you will just know something important. You may not know how you know. In case of an emergency, use it right away, but afterward you should try and find the source of this knowledge to give it due credit.

Cancer (June 21-July 20)

This could get ugly. Carlos studied the group’s reaction and hoped Damali had enough sense not to just blurt out the truth.
You can handle the truth, but can those around you? Is telling the truth the most responsible thing to do, or are you just trying to make yourself feel better? Think before you speak.

Leo (July 21-Aug. 20)

“Sexy, he muttered. “At all times.”
“I know. You told me. Remember?”
While that was true, it still took him aback when she nodded and smiled and changed her clothes without his help.No one will be able to show you their strengths if you keep babying them. I know it makes you feel better, but quit it.

Virgo (Aug. 21-Sept. 20)

The clerics were frantic as they worked against the inevitable. They couldn’t get it all, sacred blood would surely hit the earth.And create a really messy, apocalyptic smudge. I know you hate smudges, Virgo, but sometimes they are just going to happen. Try not to make everyone’s life a living hell by trying to prevent the inevitable.

Libra (Sept. 21-Oct. 20)

The hunger was gone, but the ache in his soul would never be healed.This describes my addiction to chocolate completely. It describes a lot of addictions completely, so maybe instead of feeding the hunger, you ought to think of its cause– stress, anxiety, love of hypodermic needles?–and think about what would really make you happy.

Scorpio (Oct. 21-Nov. 20)

No matter how many times he had witnessed the miraculous, so-called coincidences of the universe, it still always amazed her how tightly woven the threads were within the grand design./p>
The coincidences in your life are actually markers of your true destiny. Take some time to list and explore this week, and look out for new ones.

Sagittarius (Nov. 21-Dec.20)

There was no one to blame but himself. No matter what else was going on, no matter what supernatural forces had been tampered wih, Damali would’t have turned if she hadn’t been bitten.Hate to tell you. It’s consequences week. Accept blame. Move on.

Capricorn (Dec. 21-Jan. 20)

But the sight of how the water played over her shoulder blades, the definition of her spine flexing drew his fingers to each vertebrae, lingering to kiss them with his touch, making him take one step back to admire the form of her wet ass.
His hands slid over the high, glistening cheeks with the water, and he entered her, hard from the rear.You finally get the beautiful opportunity to screw someone over! But remember, 60% of accidents at home occur in the bathroom.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb 20)

Still, the worst part of it was, his woman could be among the undead–the one person on the planet that he never ever wanted to see that way.

Don’t be sad. People change. Maybe it’s fun being undead. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em…

Pisces (Feb.21-Mar. 20)

“Yes, baby,” she said, winking at him and slinking into her bedroom, blowing kissing over her shoulder. “I know I’ve been a very bad girl.”Oh, you coy Pisceans. What are we going to do with you. You better know what you’re asking for when you flirt like that.

*The dates given to each sun sign are approximate–the dates of each sun sign change annually with the date of the vernal equinox. If you were born between the 18th and 24th of any month, you should get a free astrology report from www.astrology.com or www.geocosmic.org just so you can answer properly when someone asks, “What’s your sign?”